A black truck pulls into the parking lot of the Society of Bastet’s play place: a tiny grey commercial complex. Inside, the play place looks more like a small three bedroom apartment than a kinkster club — until you realize they have more interesting furniture than the standard table and chairs.
A wooden ‘X’ with metal rings sits and waits in a corner of the room. Beside it is what looks like the support for a tiny swing set, but in its place hang two large carabiners for suspension play.
Two large couches are off to the side of the main play area; the space is empty this Sunday afternoon.
Before starting the interview, he asks to stay anonymous in order to protect his real-world identity. He agrees to use his kink name, Baby Edie.
Baby Edie is almost 70 and says he didn’t get into the lifestyle until his 50s.
The name itself comes from the kink: age play.
“It’s always been thought of as part of pedophilia, but it isn’t,” says Baby Edie. “There’s a lot of people, even in the kink world, that really don’t get it and still are hesitant to accept it.”
In age play, adults role play different ages ranging anywhere from the elderly to infants and everything in between. In Baby Edie’s case, he plays an adult baby/diaper lover, or AB/DL girl, the youngest type of age player.
Linked to that is usually a power relationship — often domination and submission. However, in many AB/DL cases, like Baby Edie’s, the relationship is more nurturing than sexual.
Baby Edie has been a part of Bastet for about 10 years, and says he’s been well supported by the society.
“Over the years, people have got to know me and accepted me,” he says, adding that many people have praised him for coming out as AB.
“I’m sort of the mascot of the group and the community because I’ve gotten involved in the club a lot more,” he says.
He says it was a relief in the beginning to find people that were also interested in something “so bizarre.”
Not always easy
Baby Edie has been in the annual sex show, held at the Cunard Centre, for the past few years. He says it’s one of the only sex shows across Canada that has an age play component to it, which can be problematic at times.
“When I’ve been there, I have my own little space and I have some toys, colouring books, a play pen and I act out the baby,” he says.
Some people are intrigued and see what is going on, while others “avoid me like the plague,” he says.
An incident he remembers well happened a few years ago. Two women came up to him and asked questions. Questions, he says, that morphed into insults with one of them saying, “You’re the biggest, fucking ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
After that, he considered leaving the show and never doing it again.
“Things like that certainly shoot you down,” he says.
Although difficult, Baby Edie continues to go to shows, mostly to educate people.
Outside the sex show and the club, as most of Bastet’s members refer to it, Baby Edie keeps his kink to himself, hidden from family and work.
After two marriages that ended in divorce, which Baby Edie says was mostly due to other reasons than the kink, he now lives alone. He keeps his dresses – about 330 of them – on racks all over his house.
He says he used to make his own dresses, but once he realized they could be professionally made, he invested more into them. The dresses are specifically made as kink-wear and cost on average about $70 each.
“I was figuring it out one day, and I said, ‘Jeez, I must have a lot of money tied up there’ … I had like $25,000 in dresses at home,” he says.
In addition to the dresses, Baby Edie has plastic and vinyl raincoats he usually orders from the UK.
Keeping the collection away from people isn’t an easy task, and he asks people to call before they drop by.
“If I have visitors, I’ll hide them. I take them all and dump them on my bed and close the door to get them out of sight,” he says.
The dresses are worth it; it’s a comfort for him. If he’s had a bad day at work, he can come home, put on a dress and feel relaxed.
However, he says he wishes he had someone else to dress up with to make the experience that much better. He says he’s not interested in women his own age and wishes he could find a partner in the 40 to 60 year-old range.
“There is no younger women that will get into the scene with you,” he says. “I don’t want to feel old.”
Since he doesn’t have anyone to play with at home, he usually spends Saturday nights at the club in his designated corner.
He points over to the corner beside the suspension set. Plush toys, blocks, and colouring books are stuffed to the side in stark contradiction to the flogging cross across the room.
Baby Edie says he knows a lot of people who are into his same kink but do not have outfits or baby gear. He will often offer himself as a resource for those people.
“There are a lot of people that are into the age play that are so paranoid that they figure if they come to the club and they see someone they know, then that’ll be the end of their life,” he says.
That didn’t stop him.
“I’m not going to let the fear of being outed interfere with my life to the point that I’m going to be a hermit,” he says.
It’s one of the best decisions he’s ever made.
“I noticed that since I’m with the club, I’m a lot happier than in vanilla world,” he says. Vanilla world is essentially the world outside of kink.
“I have a lot more friends than I had before,” he says.